


Drogon Dragon's Freudian Hour

by Chronos_X



Series: Headcanons (2016-) [10]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: D&D got nothing on this, Dreams and Nightmares, Drogon loves Jonny, Drogon's life sucks, Eat your hearts out, F/M, Freudian Slip, Funny, George R. R. Martin - Freeform, Implied Interspecies Sex, Implied Sexual Content, Interspecies Awkwardness, M/M, Nightmares, Other, Parody, Repressed Memories, Shame, The lighter side of A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23271994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chronos_X/pseuds/Chronos_X
Summary: Also available at www.deviantart.com/chronos-x/art/Drogon-Dragon-s-Freudian-Hour-798908614Dragon Ball Super: Twilight of Gods I - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1466320
Relationships: Drogon & Daenerys Targaryen, Drogon & Jon Snow, Drogon & Rhaegal & Viserion (ASoIaF), Drogon/Daenerys Targaryen, Drogon/Jon Snow, Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen
Series: Headcanons (2016-) [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635487
Kudos: 5





	Drogon Dragon's Freudian Hour

Drogon Dragon's Freudian Hour, by Chronos-X

May 24, 2019, 1:23:52 PM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Humor

Drogon ( _solemn_ ): Have a seat, Lord Commander.

Jon ( _casually_ ): Crap, did I die _again_?

Drogon: You're in _my_ dream, remember? The nerve of you humans!

Jon: What did _I_ do!?

Drogon ( _facetious_ ): Where shall we start? Oh yes: you seduced my mother and brought her to your bed.

Jon ( _apprehensive_ ): I-I didn't know, Drogon, I swear!

Drogon ( _unimpressed_ ): A likely story. You knew about the Red Wedding, the Three-Eyed Raven, _and_ the Battle of the Bastards, but somehow failed to learn that Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains, is your aunt, as in your father's sister?!

Jon: How the hell was I supposed to know that!? _She_ didn't!

Drogon ( _disgusted_ ): You humans are seriously f@#$%d up, you know. You meet an attractive female, and the first thought that goes through your heads is "I so wanna tap that!" You make me sick.

Jon: And how is _that_ any different from what dragons do? You honestly expect me to believe _your_ species woos females with roses, candy, poetry and candlelight dinners? And people say _I_ know nothing!

Drogon ( _matter-of-factly_ ): You don't.

Jon ( _defensive_ ): That's rich, coming from a lazy bum who bailed on his mother and flew off to do Seven know what in the East, only to conveniently come back when Dany was attacked at the colosseum!

Drogon ( _starts sweating_ ): D-Don't twist this around, Jon Snow: I- _I'm_ not the one on trial here.

Jon ( _resolute_ ): In case you haven't noticed, Drogie boy, your mommy's dead. So are Ser Jorah and your uncle Viserys. You know what that means. ( _À la James Earl Jones_ ). _I_ am your father.

Drogon ( _à la Mark Hamill_ ): NO! No, no, no, no! That's not true: that's impossible! 

Jon ( _breaks character_ ): Alright, let's stop right there: that joke hasn't been funny for like, what, thirty years?

Drogon: For once, I agree.

Jon: For that matter, why is a freaking dragon dreaming about little ol' me? ( _Flirty_ ). Are you actually fond of me, Drogie-kins?

Drogon ( _sweats copiously_ ): N-No, I-I...

Jon ( _coquette, sing-songy_ ): Jonny and Drogie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Drogon: NO! I SWEAR I'M NOT...!

Daenerys ( _pops out of nowhere, dagger still cleaved to her chest, saccharine tone_ ): Aww, my scaly-waly honey poo's in wuv! Mommy's so happy for you, Drogie-woggie!

Drogon ( _mortified_ ): MOTHER!

Night King ( _steps out of a nearby bathroom as a toilet is flushed, a sheet of toilet paper stuck to his foot_ ): Don't try to hide it, Drogon Vincent Aloysius Targaryen IV! Your feelings are clear as the light of day, which me and my hordes are totally gonna extinguish, by the way.

Drogon: SHUT UP, YOU OVERRATED ZOMBIE!

Daenerys ( _offended_ ): Manners, Drogon.

Viserion ( _flies in and lands, eating a giant tofu bean burrito in his ice dragon form, dressed like a hipster with an extravagant silk scarf, fancy beret and overpriced sunglasses_ ): You have a boyfriend, bro? Guess I won that bet after all, huh, Rhae?

Rhaegal ( _lands nearby, a giant arrow stuck to his chest, dressed like Donald Duck, eating from a giant bag of pork rinds, smoking a gigantic joint_ ): Shut up, Vis.

Daenerys ( _stern_ ): Now boys, remember what I told you: we're an open, _inclusive_ family. We're not going to make fun of my Drogie-cub and his... questionable life choices, just as we didn't make fun of yours, Viserion Paulinus Rupert Targaryen.

Viserion ( _blushes heavily_ ): It was a one-time thing, Mother!

Ghost ( _pops out of nowhere, translated from Direwolfese, to Viserion_ ): Hey there, poser. Just wanted to remind you of our court appointment next week: I'll take half of everything, just like with the kids. ( _A bunch of Direwolf-Ice Dragon hybrid pups scamper around, barking loudly, scratching at furniture and setting everything flammable on fire_ ).

Drogon: THE FLYING F#$K!?

Daenerys ( _motherly tone_ ): Language, Drogon.

Viserion ( _rolls his eyes, to Ghost_ ): You sure your name isn't Karen?

Rhaegal (laughs out loud): He got you good, Vis! ( _Sees Melisandre approach_ ). Oh crap.

Melisandre ( _wearing curlers_ ): I finally found you, Rhaegal Eugene Horatio Targaryen! Where's that child support you owe me? 

Rhaegal ( _grins sheepishly_ ): Uh... the night is dark and full of terrors?

Melisandre ( _kisses him_ ): You have such a way with words. Isn't that right, children?

( _Around twenty or so dragon-demon-human hybrids of various ages, sexes, sizes and colors enter the room_ ).

Dragon Kids: Yes, Mother.

Rhaegal ( _madly in love_ ): You can fill my dark nights with terror any time, Meli-Weli.

Melisandre ( _ditto_ ): No, Rhaegie-poo: you can fill mine. ( _They share a passionate kiss as the intro sax to George Michael's "Careless Whisper" plays and Melisandre's stomach spontaneously grows_ ). Oh, will you look at that? I'm preggers again!

Everyone but Drogon: Oh, Rhaegal!

Rhaegal ( _redder than red_ ): Oops.

Drogon ( _horrified_ ): KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Every single G.O.T. character ( _arm in arm, singing_ ): Drogon loves Jonny! Drogon loves Jonny! Drogon loves Jonny!

Drogon ( _wakes up in a start_ ): I DON'T LOVE HIM, I DON'T, I... ( _Pants heavily, realizes it was all a dream_ ). Note to self: no more midnight livestock raids before bedtime. Never again. Mommy... ( _Roars, flies away weeping_ ).


End file.
